"" Rob Parnell's Writing Academy Blog: Know Your Identity

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Know Your Identity

It's often said we don't get what we want, we get what we need.

And what we need is the stuff that keeps us sane, the reinforcement of what we believe in - whether it's true or not. 

We need to believe that our view of the world is the right one - so we tend to attract the things that support our world view - whether it's wrong or right.

If we want to grow and change for the better, making lists of what we want is not always that helpful - if we don't sincerely believe those things are achievable.

Better to dream - to fantasize about the people we want to become - rich, successful, thin - and the benefits and advantages we will have when we become that person.


THIS WEEK'S ARTICLE:


Know who you are and what you want and you're on the right track for success.


According to recent studies, most people have very little sense of identity.

They meander through life simply being - and exerting little real influence over their destiny.

Most people waste their energy on all the trivial things like earning a living, following a fashion or a cult, getting on (or arguing) with the relatives, sorting out food and drink and entertainment (and drugs) for themselves and stupid stuff like squabbling with the neighbors or gossiping with friends about nothing... all the things that don't really amount to a hill of beans.

But the minority who are aware of their identity - and have a more clearly focused view of themselves as a 'someone', tend not to get involved in much beyond furthering their personal aims, improving on the world and seeing themselves as part of a complex web of creation and destruction that we are required to interact with.

Doing, in other words, instead of just being.

Trouble is, a sense of identity can also be a curse.

Sociopathic people have apparently a very strong sense of identity.

So much so they want the whole world - or at least the people they meet - to bow down and believe everything they say, no matter how absurd.

Labeling yourself as a victim is harmful psychologically. Seeing yourself as a victim invites others to see you the same way - and pick on you.

Feeling like a failure invites more failure.

Being convinced the whole world is out to get you creates a world that is - at least for you.

BUT:

In business, success begets confidence, which enables more success.

On a personal level, being able to love unconditionally creates trust, which begets deeper relationships - unless you're partnered with a sociopath...

Identity is a double edged sword, cutting both ways.

So what will happen when you're finally able to label yourself as a writer, a filmmaker, a musician, or an artist?

Does your world view change?


Perhaps.


Does your destiny change?


Certainly.


Because everything becomes relative to your identity. 


No longer are you a leaf floating in the wind, you're the tree, holding your ground.


When you know who you are and what you want, you can change things.


Indeed, that's the definition of being an artist: someone who manipulates the things around them to create something else.


Someone who improves on reality.


Someone who sees reality for what it is. 


Not an endless merry go round of pointless distractions or a place where you involve yourself with other people's nonsense...


But a world with endless possibilities.


For improvement, personally, professionally and artistically.


It's a subtle difference that doesn't make sense or become clear until you hone in on your identity.


Who are you?


What do you want?


Ask yourself these questions every day.


Be specific.


Take action based on your answers.


That's the secret of true success.


Because what you get will then be what you want AND what you need.


The action part is the kicker - the catch if you like.


Because you must do what you define yourself as.


If you call yourself a nurse, you must nurse.

If you call yourself a builder, you must build.


If you call yourself a writer, you must write.


Too often people like the label but don't act on the identity.


Be your identity.


And go for it.


Till next time.


Keep writing!


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