"" Rob Parnell's Writing Academy Blog: Being Happy First

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Being Happy First

Dear Fellow Writer,

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THIS WEEK'S ARTICLE:

Being Happy First

There are two types of people out there.

Those who can get everything they need - and those who need everything they can get. 

Which are you? 

At first glance you might think that it's the rich - the minority - that get all the things they want, because they have the money to buy it all.

Similarly, you'd probably think that it's the monetarily challenged - the rest of us - that need everything that comes our way.

There's a lot of problems in the world caused by this dichotomy.

There's a perception that there are scarce resources. As a result, people feel justified taking everything they can get - especially for nothing. It makes us feel better to 'get stuff' whether we pay for it or not.

And having to give it back - especially when we didn't pay for it - seems anathema to most people's sensibilities.

You see it on Judge Judy

People are given cars on loan or lent money by a wealthier relative or friend - and then immediately take the attitude that the car or the money is theirs - and they don't really need to give back the wheels or repay the cash.

I think this attitude stems from a basic human need - something almost primitive, like a caveman collecting animal bones - that equates 'stuff' with self esteem.

We feel bigger when we have more. Whether that's more money, more technology, more cars, more houses, whatever. 

It's an illusion of course but the reason why it's so effective is that it not only makes us feel better, it impresses those around us too.

You see this played out in life.

We're convinced that the guy with the big house and flash car and all that money is someone we should aspire to emulate.

And despite what we might think of the rich guy's morals or ethics, we still want that for ourselves. Even when we find out that the rich guy's house and car and lifestyle are a result of massive debt he's working his ass off to pay back!

You've got to work out what you really want.

Freedom? Creativity? Independence?

Or to be a slave to money or to the system?

If you're an artist or a writer or a filmmaker - and you're reading these newsletters of mine - you're probably not rich. Not yet, anyway. (Although I do have - mentioning no names - some very famous subscribers on my list!)

But the thing is, being able to get everything you want is not the same as having everything you need.

Spike Milligan - a clinical manic depressive - once said money doesn't buy happiness - just a more comfortable version of misery.

It's a cliche of course - money can't buy you happiness. 

The real trick is to be happy first.

You might not get everything you want. But as Mick Jagger put it, you'll probably get what you need.

And though we poor folk often don't want to hear it - true happiness is about wanting fewer things. 

Once you have the bits and pieces that facilitate your creativity, what else do you really need?

Phil Collins once said that famous people invariably make far too much money. More money than is justifiable or even sane. And that brings with it huge responsibilities - and massive problems of its own.

Personally, I'd prefer to have just enough to do what what I want whenever I want to do it - and that's being wealthy in my view.

If I wanted to run a huge multinational corporation I know I could do that. But I don't want to. I'd rather be happy and be able to produce books, films and music projects to my heart's content.

I mean, why would I want to spend every day in boardrooms, arguing over marketing strategies, product placement and demographic targeting? Or sitting through long business lunches getting fat and alcohol dependent. Sounds like hell to me.

Fact is, if you're truly creative, or aspire to be, you've already got everything you need inside to be happy.

Then, you're already rich because you have access to everything you need!

It's about changing your mindset - your attitude.

And having clarity of thought (a must for a serious artist.)

Stop believing that your happiness is dependent on external 'stuff' and I guarantee you'll notice a marked improvement in your life, your relationships and, most importantly, your creativity.

Keep Writing!
 rob at home

THIS WEEK'S WRITER'S QUOTE:

"At the beginning of any writing project is the agonizing period in which nebulous ideas dance before the mind's eye like memories of a dream, and vaporous vague shapes take on human form and begin to answer to their names." James Cameron


 

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